The discussion of this week will not be lengthy; just short and sweet. The title is very concise and loaded at the same time. Dare I say it is self-explanatory, but a little backstory and an explanation won’t hurt.
Backstory: I was giving someone a lift to their house one night. I enjoy quiet rides, so most times, I don’t have conversations with others while driving. I’m the type of person that can drive for 10 hours straight and only talk for a total of 20 or 30 minutes.
(This calculation is very specific because it was something that actually happened).
Anyway, this person getting the lift was not my personal friend, so the car ride was extra quiet with the exception of a few times when the person asked me some questions. When the lady got to her house, she thanked me and remarked about how she had learned so much just in the duration of the car ride. She commended herself for speaking up to ask me the questions, because she would not have gotten her newly found knowledge otherwise. Then it hit me, Speak Up.
How many times have we been in situations where we wanted something but did not get it because we never asked for it? Maybe out of fear of rejection (a very common cause), shyness (another major cause) or any reason we can think of, we may have cheated ourselves out of some good fortunes. A lot of times, the prize in question may not even be material, it maybe intellectual. There is a lot of knowledge to be gained from casual conversations.
I remember going through my mom’s Bible over 20 years ago and I remember her handwriting on a page where she wrote “Ask 7:7”. This was referring to Matthew 7:7 – “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
What happens when you speak up?
This sounds like a rhetorical question or even a question with an obvious response. What happens when you speak up? Obviously, things change. That’s the best-case scenario. That thing we so desire could fall in our lap the moment we make our voice heard. There are some people who are willing and able to be of help, but they will not force themselves on others. They won’t assume that one is in need of what they are willing to offer simply because they are in the position to help out. Some people are reserved like that. Others feel “second-hand shame” for the people to whom they might be offering help to. Since they are able to imagine the kind of shame someone in need may feel, they would rather not subject such person to the situation by approaching them and offering unsolicited help. Other helpers may not want to pass the wrong message/create the impression that they are being arrogant when they reach out and ask if anyone needs their help.
In both these cases, the helpers would prefer that an opportunity presents itself. That is all they need; they will take that opportunity and run with it. So, you would be making their tasks easier by speaking up when you need help. Actually, both parties may end up gaining something – you would get the change that you desire/help that you need, and they might get a sense of fulfilment from doing a good deed. At times, the gain may be yours only – because the helper is simply giving out a hand because he/she is able to/feels the need to…it may be nothing more than pure altruism, no ulterior motives at all. In that case, wouldn’t you speak up instead of suffering in silence? Obviously, we do not always know who is able to help and when they will be able to do so. However, shoot your shot, you never know. I’ll just leave this here:
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” - Wayne Gretzky
We can also speak up and nothing changes. It would be incredibly optimistic for us to assume that there is only one side of the coin in life. In reality, that is not the case. If we take this from the point of social change, for example, we will see that freedom fighters, protest organizers, everyday citizens who are passionate about a cause raise awareness about things that are not going well in the society. Many of them do it because they want to see an improvement. Do they all get what they want when they set out to organize the protests? Absolutely not! Prior to starting the protests, were they aware that they might end up not getting their result? Most definitely yes. So, why set out to go and protest change when you know the change might not come? Because, sometimes, the change that will last may not be immediate. Sometimes, “…our job may just be to spark somebody else that is watching us…”
So, a change may not follow your action. But at least you did your part, and that part may inspire someone else to bring forth the change. Think about it like a relay race…not all the runners in the legs of the race cross the finish line. However, the performance of each runner can help the last runner to clinch the victory.
In conclusion, endeavour to do your bit to effect positive changes around you. Whether it is to offer a helping hand or to use your voice to shed some light on injustice as you see it. Speak Up! Do it for yourself, and especially for someone else. You may be in that privileged position for that exact reason.
RANTS FROM THE PRIVILEGED SEAT 